I know it's been a long time since I wrote my own words which Gyula calls it my voice.
Aquatic Dance by Vangellis
There aren't any lyrics, just feelings, flowing in and out. Waves cresting over my heart.
I watched a show called "Greys Anatomy " titled " What IF You Knew Today Was Your Last Day?"
This show really made me think and seeing into my life, a picture I really don't like to see since I am alone. I am not feeling self pity or regrets, I just feel over whelmed.
This show which aired on Sunday Feb 12th, which also was the 6th anniversary of the day I met my husband, whom I am no longer married to. Feeling these emotions and at the same time trying to get back to the surface where I can breathe.
I have people whom I love so much, being sick and there isn't anything I can do for them but pray for their health and to return to happiness. All the love I possess is still not enough to heal them.
Then today I go grocery shopping and I met a man I know for years but haven't seen him and he asked about who I am with or married to and I said " NO ONE , I am alone" he said, " how can a beautiful woman like yourself .. be alone? " Did I really wanted to hear those words.. NOT !!.
So I feel my life now is AQUATIC DANCE..
Flowing in and out and only God knows how and when I won't be alone any longer.
Like waves crashing on the shore line and gently rolling out again,
my emotions of late have been the same way flowing in my heart and flowing out .. 
The love of my friends online have been a blessing to me and also doing my postings is my outlet of my emotions and I thank you all for allowing me to give you my love in one form or another and also taking my hand in friendship and keeping it in your hand is such a comfort as well. Thank you.
In light and love
Yours always
Eve
My dearest Eve,I was looking at your blog for a picture for a song by Paul Spaeth named Truth in Soul.And the first thing I saw was this. I have read it and read it again and the tears are dropping.I really don’t know what I have to write or answer on this, the only thing is that I really know where you talking about. I was before I met my husband a divorced woman, so I know, I really know.In my thoughts I embrace you.With LoveTruus
HI Q,I know I am not totally alone.. God is always inside me as Gyula also have mentioned :)I know I have Angels they are my comfort as well as my joy. I just don’t want to wake up alone forever :(I know you understand this point . HugsEve
you are not alone. even angels have angels. but you know this. peace.
HI Q,You are right about the lows to see the highs .. Thank you again for commenting and caringEve
Hello my Friend Truus,I don’t mean to make your or anyone sad, I explained this to Gyula how when I speak my heart in the mood I am in it will only come out sad.I have been married more than 2 times and this time was a hard one since it was unexpected after all I gave up for this marriage and how this YOUNG man can just throw aside my life as it meant nothing. I don’t hate him or love him I feel sorry for him since it has become his loss now not mine.I am getting my life back but its slow and unsure .I am sorry if I brought up old feelings inside your heart, you have a wonderful husband now and you will be fine I just know it :)Love to you my sweet Truus,Eve
HI Marcus,thank you for your kind loving words and I DO know I can lean on you since I have been already :)You are a true friend in Opera Land and also on yahoo :DThank you for staying close and having broad shoulders.Love and hugs Eve
i know the feeling and the fear of waking up alone forever. i don’t think a sharing person, such as yourself, need worry about that though. the heart finds what it wants. so will you. there is no shame in feeling low, it is the best way to measure your highs. you’ll be flying again soon.
Hi Eve,Sometimes we do feel all alone. Guess everybody goes through that sometimes. But you are definetly not alone. You have many friends here that care about you, eventhough you may be seperated from them by land or sea. Just know that everyone is there for you in spirit. I think we all need each other to lean on sometimes. You can always lean on me :)Love and Hugs,Marcus
you’ll be o.k. eve… i’m sure of it. it won’t be long. some of us are just not meant to be alone and you are one of them. make the best of it. sopme preparation for your next relationship is possible.sorry if that sounded a bit pedantic… but i mean it in a light way.such as in enjoying life and being a grateful resident of the earth will steady your soul for the next onslaught of love.keep seeking serenity and you will be harmonious.
Hi dear Eve!Thanks for your sincerity. This is your real voice.I think so the one of the most important thing for us is a faith partner in the everyday life. The friendship is only after it.An online friend is almost the same than a real one, who now is in a far country, but you always can count on her/him. We need friends. They fortify us to get over difficulties of our life.And you have several true friends on the net.With love,G.
HI Scott, I know what you are saying and I am doing what I am suppose to do as a Muslim woman and as a woman in general.I really believe there are those who WANT to be alone and those who are alone. My friend W.. he is 76 and has been alone for many years and loves it.. also he is a man and men deal with being alone much better than a woman since women are a totally differnt being.thank you for your light words :)LoveEve
HI Gyula,Yes you are right about this faith partner and I do have one but he too is so very far away and now very sick 🙁 I feel half not whole due to his absence and this makes me feel more alone since the connection is open but not active if you know what I mean?My online friends are my only friends.. with exception of one girlfriend for more than 30 years. I live in a rural area and unfriendly at that.. I lived here before for many years and only knew my next door neighbor.. People here just don’t want to be bothtered with anyone else.Also I am Muslim and now in these times it’s a curse on me but I am ok since it’s not my problem it’s others who have to deal with me. :)Thank you Gyula for always inspiring me to speak and do. Love you,Eve