My Journey into the "LIGHT"
So many people have asked me the big question " WHY ISLAM"..
I was born Protestant and went to church and even sang in choirs for most of my youth and enjoying the church. However, as I got older and moved around so much the new churches seem to have their own groups and really aren't open to outsiders so I started not to go to church any more and felt left out in my singing and prayers with groups.
I also felt in my marriages I was alone in my faith for God, I had no one to share this love with for God and the husbands did not want to evolve and move higher with me…….. so I left them behind.
As EVE, I was VIOLATED both physically and mentally, abused, rejected, and left to DIE, not one time but twice.
In 1999 I realized I needed to feel " A PART OF" something larger, so large it would take my breath away and as I started to meet Muslims online and having in depth converstations I realized I found my calling.
I have always read books about Sufi's however nothing about Islam until I decided to explore the religion more and more. My thirst could not be quenched. I read and read.
A new journey was about to begin.
I was walking a new path in my life and alone this was the hard part
and yet, I was not alone I had my friends online and one, who came to me from Canada
to show me how to pray and do things in the woman sense..
She flew to me for 3 days and we spent a wonderful time sharing and she taught me how to pray. This wonderful woman, bought me wonderful books to get me started in reading to learn more and more, she is now a doctore for children. She was originally from Kuwait.
At this time also I was engaged to my X Egyptian husband who was my spiritual guide
and my oasis of Islam and the bond we shared was unlike any I have had before, the Journey I was on was my final Journey in a spiritual sense,
no more dead ends.
The night I did the ritual for the conversion,
it was a shower in water no soap and
a shahadah, <lā ilāhā illā-llāhu; muhammadu rasūlu-llāhi>
English.. here is no god but God; Muhammad is the messenger of God
to be said with each movement.
AS I washed my hands I knew they would be pure from this point on,
all the bad people I have touched would vanish.
AS I washed my face, I knew the "light" would be in my eyes
My heart light would come through.
My eyes will see God much clearer now.
My heart will feel God closer.
As I washed each part of my body I felt,
I was washing away the years of the voilations
of the abuse
of the rejections
the horrible people in my past
being washed away from my skin.
A new life was about to begin,
PURE as the day I was born.
It's like starting out brand new,
no impurity's, I was pure .
I emerged as Fatimah.
I remember after this time I would feel as I was floating no longer walking.
Feeling Angelic and light and finally at peace.
I have seen a huge difference in my thinking and my self-esteem since becoming Fatimah.
Even with my marriage failing and my life falling apart, I am still strong and confident in my life and my decisions, never wanting to look back . I have to say also with the help of my Opera friends,
thank you all .
When I speak to people about my journey, I see tears swell up in their eyes which comes from their hearts,
those who believe really do enjoy my journey and those who don't…. won't.
There is much more however, this is a sample from my heart to your eyes.
Watch for the book .
Thank you for reading.
IN Light and Love,
Fatimah
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ok thanks now you have my interest 🙂