I decided today to start reading the Dr Phil's book. Self Matters.
I found powerful words in the first 20 pages and I couldn't put it down, I did after forcing myself to seek other things to get done.
It's not the issue of self esteem, it's the idea of having a life after always giving up a way of life so others < children> may have one.
I know right from wrong however, at this time and age I don't know what's "right" for me.
The "DESERT" holds many disappointments not known before until I am actually here.
Each time I return to the DESERT I see something new I didn't see before and it lessens my faith and my heart.
to be continued
Greetings and blessings! Thank you for the kind comment on my Entry. It is no big deal to speak of things in my “Lover’s” world. I love him, and it’s that simple. He has never let me down; although he has not made things easy or given me what I thought wanted, but surely what I needed. Ah, Rolling Stones! “You can’t always get what you want, but if you look sometimes, you get what you need.” The “Desert” is not a place. It is a state of “being” for many of us. Obviously, in his day, people looked to him as “Leader!” “King!” “Gift-bearer!” As one who “had all the answers to their problems of the day: Bondage! “So what did you expect to find when you went into the Desert? A reed, shaken by the wind?” They did not find what they wanted. He didn’t become that Leader that was going to overthrow the Roman Empire, but he sure overthrew their value system! Not much different today, is it? He began his public teachings in the Desert. John the Baptist ended his teachings in the Desert. “I must decrease that he might increase.” Obviously, self-esteem wasn’t the issue, it was the laying down of their lives for others. Apparently, the Early Church new the value of the “Desert Experience” as so many of them fled to the desert. Today, things aren’t much different. We have political suppression. We have false gods. We love material things more than things of value, like our souls! We rely on our own power, when over and over we are taught differently. We want to make leaders of the “Dr. Phils” and people who just take the common sense and point it out to us. Slowly, as we age, we learn that the Great Commandment is a three-fold Command and it will not work any other way: One, love God first. (Seek you first the Kingdom of God and all this will be given to you.) The Kingdom of God is tied up in ourselves. He resides in us, and has nothing but love and concern for us. That is basic common sense if we learn to trust it. We have a God who is Father, Mother, Lover, and cannot be untrue to His own personality, which is love. Two: Love of neighbor. In loving our neigbor, are we not fulfilling the Law of Love? We are forgiving. We are empowering. We set free. We protect. We heal. These are not idle wishes, for in ourselves, we have Love Personified. And how do we know that? Three: Love ourselves. Ah, the common sense element of life. Do good to oneself. Do to others what we want done to ourselves. It’s the Catch-22 of Love loving Itself! And, being in the desert, away from out toys, depending for the curve in the road to come out in a good place, refusing to listen to the World, and trusting in His Guidance, for He can only be true to His own Identity, Love. In the Desert, one faces reality and in doing so, finds oneself. The Desert, ah, can it not be anything more than ego-death? I envy you in part for the wonderful opportunity you have. My Desert was many places at different times. My father dying at a young age for me, thrusting me into the world of drunk adults. I did not live, but died with my father. Years later, thrust into New York City and an entire new value system. The 60s, and seeing belief and value system torn apart more. The birth of the Me Generation. Lost? You bet! But a hunger I could not explain resided in me. The search for Wisdom and Truth. The search for love, as I so desperately needed love, only to find that I had to look no further than loving and taking care of me. I learned to forgive and heal myself. I learned to not make great expectations on myself. I learned that I was OK just where I was in life, and the journey was far from over. I learned to take those “curves” at break-neck speed, for the Desert had become a Sea, and I was being taught to walk on it, and the One who controls all things was really that which was keeping me afloat, for as Walt Whitman spoke of in his “Song of the Voyager” — “O my brave Soul, sail farther still! For are these not all the seas of God!” (Loosely paraphrased) For what you are finding in you desert is the ability to walk on the sea, and you are coming up with more than sand; you are beholding the “pearl of great price!” and selling all you have to own it! Love yourself with awesome wonder, for the Dance is just beginning, and let him take you into deep dips, swirling waltzs, and calm moments of resting your head on his chest. He knows the steps. He wrote the music. He is strong in Love, and will not let you go. Selah
Hello HG and thank you for wonderful words of advice and strings of your heart songs. I came to this Desert to find a new way of life and love and only found desparate people looking to get OUT of where I moved to and looking at me like I am INSANE to have given up my life in USA to live in Cairo. I know I have the magic to show people the difference and to add color to the lifes of many however, in this Desert they only see the color of sand and they don’t want to see any other color unless it’s the color of MONEY and they say the Americans are capitalists? haha . I have also found that those who gained their wealth from USA return to Cairo like KINGS and look down on others even those they grew up with as servants and beggars, this is why the country is spinning out of control. I was working at a private school here in Cairo and only to find the bottom line is MONEY ,, allow children to be out of control and not learn and also to prohibit those who want to learn only because of the money the parents are paying and not to lose that income. No structure or any kind of civil acts towards others and this is from children, the adults have thier own set of problems, this country is free running and getting worse all the time, the children of tomorrow will even add to the suffering of this country and no one wants to set rules and guidelines for the future here. This is the Desert I came to and will be happy to leave . I really enjoy your writings and to feel your heart in all your words , again thank you .
WOW
helloI don’t understand Chinese π I don’t know what you mean? you can write me in a PM ?Fatimah
coool!δΌδΈθ₯ι
thank you for reading and your visit π
Great story;I can say I most definately share your interest,I been down that same road…………good luck
Hi D,Thank you for reading and caring enough to comment I hope I can read your journey sometime ? I have changed my path and in doing so I have changed my lifeand inturn my thinking, all related. Fatimah
I wonder if you’re still watching this post? If so have an old memory courtesy of me. π
The memory of an old post. π Of tapping away at a quarter to three on a Saturday afternoon two years ago, not really knowing you’d still be here this much later, and wondering if you’ll have given up on it within the week.
Back?
I see thanks for the memory :)I am here still blogging away nice to see you back !
yes I watch all my posts :)what memory is that ? Thank for your visit
I thought I read in your blog you had left for a whilesorry if I am wrong
I did say I’d been off the web for a while, I think. Everything’s all shiny and new now. But this site’s new for me. Thanks anyway. π I didn’t realise anyone had read that far back. Guess it’s not just me eh?
no it’s not just you :)it’s always nice to see old friends and this weekhas been a week of old friends :)thanks for the replys and your visits:yes:
Sorry to enter what should be to you sacred ground, this oldest post! But I found myself being more and more amazed at your work since this time–I just wondered if you had considered the contribution you must have been making for these 3 years, with 337 pages! My blog faints in comparison in more ways than the age and number of pages. I bow to you, Fati! I hope to catch your new works from no forward! Glenn
Hi Uttopia,thank you for your ever so kind words towards my blog and my efforts.I realize the contribution I have made to many who journey thru my pagesand allow each word to dive into their hearts. I am very blessed to beable to share my “Light” to those whom are willing to receive it.Thank you for commenting and for sharing also.I do love Angels and they too guide my fingersFatimah
Yes, I can tell there is divine guidance! So, blessings to you always. Glenn
thank you for your kind words Glenn
I hope to never use other than kind ones in your presence! I know angles loose feathers over them! haha
yes they do π we don’t molt haha
Or get those tiny little mites either I bet! haha
haha you are so funny I just gave this book to a girl who works in a store I serviceI am praying it helps her as it did me π
What book was that, Fati? You may need to lead me to the water!
the book in this blog post silly”I decided today to start reading the Dr Phil’s book. Self Matters. I found powerful words in the first 20 pages and I couldn’t put it down,”
You know “flippy” (not in dictionary my combination of flippant and a fish girl–not mermaid, but Christian fish girl), I scrolled up looking for the answer before my Q and apparently not far enough because I stopped where you were talking about being in the desert in a reply (which I see now, after looking again ) to hgbrown!!!! That is OK —you can jump at the chance to call me silly!
I thought you were being funny at first then I realized you didn’t read the whole post :(Thanks for explaining PS your not silly π
I have seen Freuidian slips before! haha No! Name calling usually does not bother me. I think people are bothered when the think they could possibly be “guilty” of the name! If you know you are not stupid, being called that should not bother you, ugly! haha
Every time I read this post, with the DESERT all in capitals I get a song in my head.:sing: I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name…
haha again Glenn you have placed a smile on my facethanks for this gift you give to me π
yes I can see where that would bring that song to mind :)a good song too π
If the smile is only placed there, will it fall off?!!! I wouldn’t want that to happen!
when I see your name the smile returns π
Now that creates a big question for me—how when YOU see MY name, the smile returnes to MY face!!Strange!—Actually the U in Utt always forms a smile! haha
a good point Glenn, you give to me I give back to ya π
I am going nuts over here, trying to find where the words ” I give to you and you give to me” come from and what the name of the song is! I was thinking The King and I. But google did not bear that out!How are you Fati? I should not really ask as I am signing off soon and your reply will be missed—let me just wish you a wonderful day!
I know the song however, i can’t think of the name now :(if I remember I will let you knowhope you had a good day and enjoyable eveningthank you for your visit always
I have not found anything to humor you with lately, sorry! Some of the words are coming back —he gives her “love for ever more!” These days maybe THAT is a joke haha
Glenn, you don’t have to try to find words to humor me with,I know you mean well and I am always happy to see you in my blogand I do hope you are enjoying the music I have inside the blogpages.There are some people married for over 50 years and to me this islove forever more .. that’s what I wished for all my lifeI guess I didn’t wish hard enough π
May I inquire about that? Shall I lead off by telling you I am on my fourth marriage (25 years this one) 2 years for the first, 8 years then, 4! The first I found out was schizophrenic and being chased with a knife was not my desire, the second wanted a more motor cycle dude type, third has not figured herself out yet (changed her name recently to a single word – having no first or last name, just a name—“Seajay”). She did cheat on me like the second wife, but I can not place his type –they did marry and have son. But the marriage lasted only a couple of years. I am thinking you lost your husband through illness!!!
thanks for sharing and sorry for your troubles.no I loss my son as my post states.Take care and be well alwaysFati
Fati, I have disgusted you! But I wanted to be open and honest. My question was as a result of your above statement “There are some people married for over 50 years and to me this islove forever more .. that’s what I wished for all my lifeI guess I didn’t wish hard enough “It seemed to me you were musing about marriage and not losing your son! Please forgive me it I offended! It was my intent to make you feel free to discuss such things, by confirming that I have lead a human’s life, not so perfect. I still do not know why you feel that you have wished all your life and not been granted your wish ( which I took to be a soul mate for ever ). Still if it is not your wish to go into it, I certainly bow to your wish. Sorry, Glenn
I feel divorce is not losing someone like in death even tho it’s the endof that relationship. I miss understood your question sorry .when you said loss.no problem I miss understood
Still, please explain why you said “There are some people married for over 50 years and to me this islove forever more .. that’s what I wished for all my lifeI guess I didn’t wish hard enough”
I was married a few times so I didn’t get the 50 year marriage to one manok?
See–there is an explanation! And much similar to mine, huh? What you just said in another post probably will not fit here as 50 years may take you beyond the point that you even want to be married (so here it IS too late). haha So lower your standard to 25 years. The most important part is that you have someone always! Especially in the years that you want more comforting than excitement. Am I way off?!
to each their own I guessI was married 4 times and now alone in the golden years of my lifethis is not what I wished for
I surely understand! But I keep thinking why the “now alone” part should be! I am wondering if you have “just given up”—you know Fati?!
no I have not given up only being careful to make the right choicesin my life now not as I did before .
It seems that one can take extreme measures and not find the fault or quirk or what ever big or little thing there exists that finally shows it’s ugly head and brings failure! I really see your point. One of the biggest problems is falling in love before your “analysis” (haha funny word for it)is through and thus you are then blinded by your love! I would never have done it in the past, but now I condone living together before marriage!!It is not right, I know, but it seems the only way to be assured that “it is going to work”. Still even that is not enough. I have no other solutions for you (like I am an expert anyway haha).
haha Glenn thanks for the advice . I am busy working I don’t have time or energyfor another man to drain me.. I am divorced now 3 years and happy to be alonenot all the time but that’s life π
Well, much power to ya my dear! I am just thinking you deserve much! And not all work!
thank you and I do understand where your heart is π
Good girl! haha