Be Still My Heart

The phone rang and it was the Florist…..Oh no it's happening again..

Today September 30th 2005 is my birthday and 6 years ago that same phone call came from the same Florist.

You try and try to forget events which will no longer happen with that person and yet the smallest thing such as this phone call brought back happiness, pain , sadness.

It's hard enough to spend your birthday alone except for a few online friends who want to keep you close to them by sending ecards and well wishes.. Thank G for online friends .

I can remember 6 years ago like it was yesterday. The fun and magic of my birthday then.. The wake up call from him, his soft voice being the first voice of that magical day. Wishes of many more fun filled birthdays for me and asking about my day what will I do where will I work and WHAT TIME WILL I BE HOME?

Hummm I am asking myself why would he ask what time I will be home???? He is in Beligum 6 hrs ahead of me, is he going to do a big surprise like call me again ? < which he did almost everyday.> I knew something was brewing..

My birthday 6 years ago was one of the best I ever had, I was floating all day long driving to my work from one town to another and finally back home again at the end of my day..

I had a message on my machine saying, "this is the florist we have a delivery for you but I need to know when you are home" I called them back to let them know I was home and then the surpise came.

The most beautiful flowers I have ever gotten from anyone. A Mixture of my favoite colors and flowers and with a beautiful card stating all the love he held in his heart for me.

Each flower had a meaning from him to me.. White for the pureness of our love, Purple for the passion inside our hearts . Etc. Such time and effort was taken to do this and from Belgium.. More than I would ever expect.

Those flowers lasted 2 weeks and after that time I dried them and kept them in the vase they arrived in and became a fixture in my home. His love will stay inside my heart even after I am gone, it was that bright and that deep. Fond memories I will cherrish as I did the love.

So today when this same phone call came and they said the same thing to me 6 years later. and knowing this love is no longer in my life and the light that was part of the oneness of us is also gone.. I did have hope that somewhere in time he would remember and maybe out of his heart touch my heart again, only to fade into a memory which remains.

Love comes in many shapes and sizes.. These flowers came from someone who was there when I was born and who has always been there for me even now 58 years later. MY sister .. she always rememebers and is never just a memory, she is real.

I wanted to share my birthday flowers with you and inturn to show you that in life there is such a love and there is such a thing as deja vue………

The memory remains.

Love,
Eve

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